


the feel of your arms around me (is just as I remembered)

by bilexualclarke (ohalaskayoung)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, I'm sorry but I just had to write it, you might cry while reading this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:57:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6164901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohalaskayoung/pseuds/bilexualclarke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa's fight is over, and it's time to catch up with a few people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the feel of your arms around me (is just as I remembered)

 “Welcome, Alexandria.”

The First Commander smiles warmly at her. Lexa blinks as the rest of the world comes into focus.

“Becca.” Lexa tests her voice, surprised by the way it echoes around them. The world is not unfamiliar; she has been visited by past commanders before. She knows this land, and she knows it is now her duty to inhabit it and guide the next commander, but a small part of her is disappointed.

She had been hoping to see a few different faces.

“I have to admit; I had not been anticipating your arrival this soon. You had more work to do,” Becca tells her, smiling sadly.

Lexa’s eyes narrow. “I did not come here by choice. Just because I made peace with my death does not mean I welcomed it.”

Becca places a soothing hand on her arm. “I know this, Alexandria. Besides, there is nothing we can do about it now. We must now focus on choosing your successor.”

She turns and heads into one of the large, sparkling buildings behind her. Lexa doesn’t follow, instead gazing around and taking in the vast city before her. So massive and pristine, yet so empty. For as run down Polis may have been compared to this, at least it was _alive_.

“Becca.”

The First Commander turns to her, arching a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Is this… all there is?” Lexa drops her graze. “Others believe that when you die, you are reunited with the ones who have passed on before you.”

“Your duty is here,” Becca tells her. Lexa’s heart plummets. Even in death, she cannot escape her _duty_.

“But,” the First Commander continues, catching Lexa’s attention. “This is only one aspect of your consciousness. If you wish to visit those who have passed on, all you have to do is focus.” She smiles genuinely. “There are many who wish to see you, Alexandria.”

* * *

 

The first to visit her is Gustus. One minute she is with the First Commander preparing for the Conclave, and the next she is standing on the rocks of the lake near her village.

“Do you remember when I taught you to swim here?” He asks, nodding towards the shallows. “You nearly sank like a rock.” 

She does remember. 

The first time she bled, she was three years old. Her parents brought her to Polis and entrusted her to the care of the current commander, and from that moment on the Nightbloods were the only family she knew. She learned that her parents had died in a raid of their village by Azgeda two years later, but by that point they were only vague memories.

Gustus, who was the second of one of the most respected Trikru warriors, brought her back to her village when she was six years old. He was less of a man then, shorter and wiry, his face bare of any tattoos. He had been returning to the village to visit his sister, who had just given birth, and they offered to take Lexa along.

_“You deserve to know where you came from,” he had told her._

Lexa smirks. “You were the one who tossed me in.”

Gustus kicks some water in her directions, and it splashes over her bare toes. “You did well, Lexa. With everything.”

She takes a step into the water.

* * *

Gustus’ sister survived childbirth, but the baby did not. His sister had one child already, a twelve-year-old daughter with wild hair and sharp cheekbones. She glared at them when they arrived and didn’t stop until they left the village. Two weeks later, she arrived in Polis to train as a second, and Lexa soon found herself sneaking out of her quarters to watch her spar with the other seconds in the training grounds.

“Well, look who it is,” Anya says with a smirk. She is standing in the middle of the grounds, idly twirling a staff across her arms. “Get over here.”

Anya tosses the staff to the ground as Lexa approaches. She swings an arm over Lexa’s shoulders, tugging her close.

“I’ve missed you, Anya,” Lexa says thickly.

Her mentor scoffs and pulls back. “A few months without me and you’ve gone soft?”

"Oh, shut up," Lexa swats at Anya's arm.

"Did you really bring a war to an end because of you fell in love with that Sky girl?"

"Anya, I was wrong before,” Lexa tells her. “Love is not weakness. Love is strength.”

* * *

 

It takes longer for Costia to find her.

“Hey there, bunny.”

Lexa opens her eyes with a gasp. She is in a warm bed, the dull light from the fire making shadows dance across the ceiling. When the familiar scent of cinnamon and pine reaches her nose, she lets out a strangled sob.

“Oh, no. No, bunny, don’t cry.”

The bed dips as someone sits beside her, and suddenly Costia is there, tenderly wiping tears from her cheeks. The sight of her only makes Lexa cry harder.

“Costia,” she chokes out. “I-I-”

"Shh." Costia leans down and presses a kiss to Lexa's forehead. "I'm here."

Eventually, Lexa's sobs subside and she is able to look upon her love's face with clear eyes. With a shaking hand, she traces the slope of Costia's nose, runs her fingers through her wild black curls, places her hand over her heart. 

"You're here."

Costia smiles. "I've missed you, bunny."

"I've missed you calling me that."

It started as a joke one night, when Lexa was so starving that when she smelled the stew Costia was prepared she started sniffing the air, her nose twitching like a rabbit's. Costia had teasingly called her a bunny for the rest of the night, and eventually the name stuck. Lexa tried to be annoyed by it at first, but after hearing Costia whisper it tenderly as she braided her hair had made all of her reservations fade away.

Costia pulls back so Lexa can sit up. They are in Costia's room in Polis, the one Lexa had sealed off and stripped bare after her death. Now the walls are piled high with books and trinkets, and multicolored fabrics of her own design drape across the walls. 

Lexa immediately pulls the girl into her arms. They rock back and forth together on the bed for what feels like hours, just holding each other, soaking in the feel of being together again.

"I'm so sorry," Lexa whispers into Costia's collarbone. "I never wanted any harm to come to you. If I could go back and-"

"You can't change the past, Lexa," Costia whispers. "What matters is that we're both together now. And I want to hear all about this _Clarke of the Sky People_."

"You would have loved her." Lexa grins, pressing soft kisses up her neck until their lips brush, just barely. "But can't I just kiss you a little bit more first?"

Costia smiles as she cups Lexa's face as she presses their lips together softly, unhurried. 

"We have all the time in the world."

**Author's Note:**

> I cried while writing this and I'm going to keep crying for the rest of my days.   
> You can try with me on tumblr, too.  
> (bilexualclarke)


End file.
